Spirits
by timelucked
Summary: Zuko writes to Katara about his life. But when rebellions pop up, does her visit to the Fire Nation turn into something more? Will she have to get up and fight from the injustices of these riots - under the guise of the Painted Lady? Of course she does.


_Katara,_

_It would have been really nice to have visited you in the Southern Water Tribe (on good pretenses this time. How fare the reparations?) The way you describe those natural lights sounds wonderful. We do not have something like that up here. We only have giant bonfires and benders from all across the nation perform tricks and forms to change the fire into dragons or some other fabled creatures. Sadly, though, I can not. Uncle was unable to come up here, and I did not have the heart to take him away from his precious tea shop anyway. Besides, my leaving during such a shaky time as this would have been seen as a sign of weakness or abdication – and I do not want there to be any more room for usurpations and other such things. A siege on the palace is the last thing I need at the moment. I really do not want to lose my home, again._

…_I wish you could see me know, I'm sure you would laugh. I'm sitting here, in my barely-lit office (it's actually kind of creepy) in the dead of night, rubbing my brow because you and I both know that I will tell you why I really can't go down to the South Pole. You know – of course you do – it's really quite pathetic, the fact you can twist my arm without even physically being here. _

_The truth of the matter (though the aforementioned reasons are real – and quite trying) is that Mai and I have been going through a rough patch. Like Earth Kingdom roads. Yeah, it's that bad. We're better now, but I'd like for it to remain that way. Women…you know how it is – you're one of them. Though, you never acted that way. You were just temperamental about other things (like my presence, and behavior, and my face, and where I came form, and what I represented. I miss those good days) I love Mai, but even still, she makes it very difficult. I am so happy that we've sorted through our problems, but most days I wonder what life would be like alone. I used to always be alone, as free and unhampered as the sea I traveled on. It was lonely, for sure, but only because I made it that way. Add that to the kilometer-long list of my faults. Maybe we could compare notes, I'm sure you have your own list on that. For me that is, I don't know if you have any faults. Any that are quite as pressing and self-deteriorating anyway. But (back on track) now that I have Mai, it is so great. Except for the way she acts. She's very possessive – and with my attention split between all the problems in my country and her, she's not very happy. Her anger and our constant bickering and fights have been putting a huge strain on me. And with my attention near solely devoted to the sudden uprisings and rebellions that keep popping up, it's…it isn't really helping things. _

_I never realized that people would _hate_ me to be on the throne. I never thought that people _liked _living under the oppressive foot of fear that my great-grandfather had set up in his era. But what else could I expect? That with the coming of the Avatar and the end of the war people would just fall under my plans for peace and forget the way my immediate family had set things up under their reign. Maybe in an idyllic world. But not in mine, never in mine. Instead of peace, I just get headaches and frustrations, and a home-life full of strife and tense relationships. There was actually one attempt that nearly made it into the palace. One of the guards and chambermaids were in cohorts with the organization that had been planning my downfall for the past two years. If it wasn't for an odd shift change and the other maid hadn't seen the spiked needle underneath my pillow, I wouldn't be able to write to you. I would either be a vegetable, sustained only by remedied herbs and Uncle's persistence or dead. I have, of course, paid all the medical expenses for the maid – her name is Shou – and luckily another servant of mine had found her in time. She is on a very speedy road to recovery. I _may_ have gone a little too far with issuing her a title of honor, but if others know that saving me is worth something, perhaps others will step up to the plate. One can hope, anyway. _

_I can't believe I've told you all of this. But by writing to you for the past two years has really helped me. I feel so much better, more at ease, after I put the quill down. I even have a special quill for you, it's an eaglehawk feather dyed this deep, rich cobalt. You should feel honored. _

_I have to pack this up now. It's getting late and Ruku, my attendant, has said that Mai is getting…antsy. I really wish I could have gone to see you still. Maybe in ten years. That was a joke. I hope._

_Fire Lord Zuko_

Crinkling the crisp parchment between snow-frosted gloves, a chestnut-skinned woman laughed with her chilled breath, escaping in a smoky puff around her mouth. She tossed the letter behind her back and tromped over the crest of an icy hill, to watch the calm tides case the snowy shores. The sun dipped its toes testingly into the horizon, allowing itself ample time to gradually sink itself into the sapphire ocean.

"Fine. If the fire won't come to the water," she spoke her thoughts aloud, a slow smile conquering over the expanse of her glossy lips. "I'll just bring the _water_, to the _fire_,"

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><p><strong>AN: This turns into the plot for Zutara Theme Thirty: Spirits. Enjoy! Read and review because if you don't, I die a little inside~**


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